mulla

Mulla Nasruddin and his wife are sitting one Sunday listening to the radio, when this faith healer comes on and he says, "If you have a part of your body you want healed, place one hand on the radio and the other hand on the afflicted part."The wife placed one hand on the radio and the other on her heart. The Mulla placed one hand on the radio and the other on his appendage.So the wife said, "Mulla, he's trying to cure the sick, not raise the dead."

osho fuck joke

BELOVED MASTER,I FEEL SHOCKED WHEN YOU USE THE WORD 'FUCK'. WHAT TO DO?


Sargamo, it is one of the most beautiful words. The English language should be proud of it. I don't think any other language has such a beautiful word.One Tom from California has done some great research on it. I think he must be the famous Tom of Tom, Dick and Harry fame.He says:
One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'fuck'. It is one magical word: just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. In language it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John), and as a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see there are not many words with the versatility of 'fuck'.Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses:Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot.Ignorance: Fucked if I know.Trouble: I guess I am fucked now!Aggression: Fuck you!Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking job.Incompetence: He is a fuck-off.Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.Request: Get the fuck out of here!Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off!Greeting: How the fuck are you?Apathy: Who gives a fuck?Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer.Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!Anxiety: Today is really fucked.
And it is very healthy too. If every morning you do it as a Transcendental Meditation -- just when you get up, the first thing, repeat the mantra "Fuck you!" five times -- it clears the throat. That's how I keep my throat clear!Enough for today.

The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol 11Chapter #4

Vincent Van Gogh,

You must have heard the name Vincent Van Gogh, the great Dutch painter. He was the perfect masochist. If he had been born in India, he would have become a Mahatma Gandhi; but he became a painter. He had not much money. His brother used to give him only enough to survive. Out of the seven days of the week, he would eat only on three days, and the other four days of the week he would fast in order to paint.

He was in love with a woman, but the father of the woman wouldn't allow him to see her. So he forced his hand on a burning flame and he said, 'I will keep my hand on the burning flame until you allow me to see her.' He burnt his hand.

A prostitute told him, 'Your ears are very beautiful,' because there was nothing else to appreciate in his faceHe was one of the ugliest men, he had ugly features. The prostitute must have been in a difficulty with this man, so she told him that his ears were very beautiful. He went back home, cut one of his ears off with a knife, packed it, went back to her with blood flowing all over, and presented the ear to the woman saying, 'You liked it so much that I would like to give it to you as a gift.'

He continued painting in the hottest part of France, Arles, in the summer when the sun was very hot. Everybody told him, 'You will get ill, the sun is too hot.' But the whole day, particularly when the sun was hottest, at full noontide, he would be standing in the fields and painting. Within twenty days he went mad. He was young, thirty three or thirty four when he killed himself, committed suicide. But in the name of painting, art, beauty, you can torture yourself. In the name of God, in the name of prayer, in the name of sadhana, you can torture yourself. You will find this type very predominant in India: -OSHO

Book : Yoga : The Alpha and the Omega,Vol 10 Chapter 1

Marilyn Monroe and Muktananda

One Hindu saint died a few years ago, Swami Muktananda. You must have heard his name; many of you may have seen him. But you don't know what happened in paradise.

One of his disciples was so miserable because his guru had died, he committed suicide. He wanted to go with the guru. He reached just a little late, but he reached. And what he saw - he could not believe his eyes! He saw Muktananda lying naked under a tree, and on top of him was an American actress, Marilyn Monroe, making love to Muktananda. He could not believe that Muktananda, who was always teaching celibacy.... In his book, CHIDVILAS - "Play of Consciousness", he describes that his discipline of celibacy came to such a point that his prick would rise so high that it would touch his navel.... The disciple had read it. And what is Muktananda doing? Has he forgotten everything? But anyway, Muktananda is his master, so he has to pay his respects.He did not look at what was happening, he just touched Muktananda's feet and said, "Baba, I think this must be the reward for all your virtues."

And Marilyn Monroe said, "You idiot! This is not the reward for this idiot, this is punishment for me!" - OSHO

Book : Communism and Zen Fire, Zen Wind , Cheapter : 5

a method to avoid aids

always wear double condom with chilli powder in between . if outer breaks she will shout , if inner breaks you will know - a great idea ? - Aids Awarness programme

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Junnaid ( Part III )

"And third," he said, "I entered into a small village. A little boy was carrying a lit candle, obviously going to the small temple of the town to put the candle there for the night." And Junnaid asked, "Can you tell me from where the light comes? You have lighted the candle yourself so you must have seen. What is the source of light?" The boy laughed and he said, "Wait!" And he blew out the candle in front of Junnaid. And he said, "You have seen the light go. Can you tell me where it has gone? If you can tell me where it has gone I will tell you from where it has come, because it has gone to the same place. It has returned to the source." And Junnaid said, "I had met great philosophers but nobody had made such a beautiful statement: 'It has gone to its very source.' Everything returns to its source finally. Moreover, the child made me aware of my own ignorance. I was trying to joke with the child, but the joke was on me. He showed me that asking foolish questions--'From where has the light come?'--is not intelligent. It comes from nowhere, from nothingness--and it goes back to nowhere, to nothingness." Junnaid said, "I touched the feet of the child. The child was puzzled. He said, 'Why you are touching my feet?' And I told him, 'You are my Master--you have shown me something. You have given me a great lesson, a great insight.' "Since that time," Junnaid said, "I have been meditating on nothingness and slowly, slowly I have entered into nothingness. And now the final moment has come when the candle will go out, the light will go out. And I know where I am going--to the same source. "I remember that child with gratefulness. I can still see him standing before me, blowing out the candle."